When You Tell Me That You Love Me
by Angel From Above Is Here
Summary: What would have happened if Horatio would have been the one to help Calleigh after John Hagen had killed himself in her lab? Read to find out! Of course there's a character dead warning as well as a warning for the mention of hagen's suicide.


**A/N: I know it's been a really long time since I've written my first (and until now only!) CSI: Miami story. And I thought that had to change. So here's my newest story! Please let me know what you think. Even if you hate it! Constructive criticism really helps! And reviews make my day!**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to SCI: Miami. And I'm afraid I never will, either...

**When You Tell Me That You Love Me  
**

When Horatio pulled up in front of Calleigh's house and saw that none of the lights were on, he became even more worried than he'd been before. Although he normally wasn't one to curse, he now did just that; he should never have let her go after what had happened.

Today had been an extremely rough day on the ballistics expert. First, she had been held gunpoint without even knowing who was holding the gun against her head. After that, the gunman had managed to escape. A key piece of evidence later turned out to have been stolen from the scene. And when Calleigh had finally realized who was responsible for all of this, it had already been too late. John Hagen had killed himself. In her lab, as if things had not yet been hard enough. She'd been just in time to see Alexx wheel his body out. In his right hand pocked she had found the missing piece of evidence.

Horatio knew exactly how difficult this had been on Calleigh. She had liked John. She'd even loved him at a certain point, she had told him that herself. And now, he was gone. Just like that. Without saying goodbye. Without warning.

During the course of the day he had seen the weight on her shoulders increase, pulling her further down. The more hours that had gone by without answers, the more frustrated she had become.

"_I can't believe I can't find anything telling me who I'm looking for," she'd said, pacing back and forth in front of his desk._

"_Maybe not now, Calleigh. But in the end we always get our man," he had tried to convince her._

But every time he'd passed by her lab, she'd been firing yet another gun, or comparing yet another round of bullets, all to no avail. It had pained him so much he'd nearly stepped in and told her to take a break. Nearly, because he knew she was too stubborn to accept his offer.

And then, an hour before their shift was supposed to end, Calleigh had stepped into his office, to tell him that John had committed suicide.

"_Sweetheart, I'm so sorry... Are you okay?" he had asked her, having to refrain from getting up and putting his arms around her._

_She had just shrugged._

"_I will be, eventually," she had told him._

"_Alright. That's all I wanted to know. Is there anything I can do for you?"_

_He couldn't simply sit and do nothing, but he would have to unless she gave him permission to help her._

"_Well... Maybe there is... Do you think you'll be needing me anymore? It's just that I'd really like to go home," she's said in a small voice._

And Horatio had agreed. Even though he had known she should not be driving. Let alone be on her own after the events of that day. Even though he had known he should have made her stay and wait until he was finished so he could take her home and stay with her.

Horatio rang the bell. But Calleigh didn't open the door. Everything stayed silent and dark. If her car hadn't been in the driveway, he would have thought that she wasn't there.

His heart was pounding in his chest. If anything was wrong with her, it was his fault. He would never forgive himself if he allowed anything bad to happen to her.

Luckily the team members had exchanged keys. And he happened to have Calleigh's key, as she did his.

"Calleigh?" he called as he pushed open the door.

But he was greeted by nothing but silence. There was no vocal response, not a sound telling him where she might be.

Horatio stepped through the hallway, softly pushing open doors as he went. But the kitchen and living room were empty. Nothing betrayed her presence in the house.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he paused. Should he go up? For all he knew she could be in bed, and if she was, he should definitely not wake her up. On the other hand, he should check on her. After all, she was his best friend.

_No_, he chided himself. _She is much more than just your friend. Much more than your best friend, even! She is the woman you have loved since the first day you worked with her, and who you will always love. Even if she doesn't know that._

"Sweetheart?" he called out a second time.

And now he did hear something. It was a small gasp for breath, so soft he might have thought he had simply imagined it if it hadn't been for the nearly inaudible "yes" accompanying it.

"I'm coming upstairs, alright sweetheart?"

"Hurry," came the muffled reply.

Taking two steps at a time it took him less than five seconds to climb the flight of stairs. The sight greeting him when he reached the landing made him feel as if he had just been kicked in the gut.

Calleigh was sitting on the carpet. She was pressing one of her wrists against her mouth, obviously in an attempt to keep herself from screaming. He could tell she had been doing that for quite a while already, as the fabric of her shirt was completely wet. With the other arm she was hugging her knees to her chest. Her entire face was red and swollen, and fresh tears were still trailing a path down her cheeks. The deep blue vest she had been wearing before was laying on the floor, discarded. Her shoes had been thrown up against the wall.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here now," he tried to console her as he sank down onto his knees next to her.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." she cried, burying her face in his shirt and clinging to him for dear life.

Horatio seized to think altogether then. He pulled her even closer, rubbing her body in an effort to calm her down, to stop her from shaking.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. Absolutely nothing, do you hear me? You did everything you could," he told her firmly.

He kept rocking her slowly back and forth, almost like a parent rocking his child asleep.

Calleigh gradually began trembling less. The tension in her muscles began to diminish. Her cheeks were still wet and her face still swollen, but no new tears were falling.

"Come on," he said. "Let's get you up of the floor."

"I don't want to. I'm comfortable here," she told him, trying to pull him back down when he made to get up.

He smiled at that. Truth be told he had no desire to let go of her either. Now that he finally had his arms around her, he didn't want to let her go. But it felt as if he was taking advantage of her a bit. And today's events were taking their toll on her. With every minute that passed, he could feel her leaning into him more heavily, indicating she was getting more and more tired.

"You have to, sweetheart. You need to go and was your face so your eyes won't hurt too much tomorrow, and you need to throw on your pyjamas. I can tell you're tired, you need to get some sleep, sweetheart."

Reluctantly, Calleigh allowed Horatio to pull her to her feet. But instead of letting go of his hand when he expected her to, she kept holding on to him.

"Will you stay with me? I know it's a lot to ask, but please... I just... I don't want to be alone tonight," she told him in barely more than a whisper.

"Of course I will, beautiful. I love you too much to leave you right now," he confessed.

Damned, he cursed for the second time that evening. Now you've done it! Why did you have to go and tell her that? Now she'll probably kick you out! And not only that, you've probably thrown away all that beautiful friendship you've had with her since you began working together!

Calleigh seemed to notice his utter insecurity. A soft smile graced her face when she spoke again.

"You really mean that," she stated.

"I do," he agreed.

For the first time that day he recognized something of the old Calleigh in her when something inside her unexpectedly lit up.

She extended a hand and touched his face, as if she wanted to make sure she wasn't dreaming this.

"You can't imagine how long I've been waiting for you to say that," she said. "I love you, too."

He smiled, kissing her fingers.

"I have to say it took all of the strength I had not to tell you sooner. But now, I wished I had..."

Her hand was still on his face, her fingers drawing an intricate pattern on his skin.

"So that's why I could always call you Handsome and you'd never get mad," she suddenly realized.

Horatio couldn't help but chuckle slightly. He had indeed developed an interest in her rather quickly, and the first time she had called him Handsome it had felt so right he had decided not to say anything about it.

"Amongst other reasons. I just liked it. It felt right," he confessed.

"Good, she said, brushing her lips over his lightly.

However cliché it may seem, it seemed as if time just stopped turning. It seemed as if there was no-one else in the world but the two of them.

"That was... amazing..." Calleigh said when the kiss ended, touching her lips with a finger.

"So I've been told before," Horatio smiled, pulling her as close as he possibly could.

Calleigh laughed, swatting his chest lightly before taking a step back.

"Really? Maybe I should take the time to try and figure out what else is so amazing about you, don't you think? After I've gotten into my PJ's, that is."

Horatio shook his head and grinned as he watched her disappear through the bathroom door. Something told him that she still wasn't okay, and that it would take a while until she was. But she was going to be, just like she'd said. And he would be there to help her through the dark times.

When they were finally in bed, about ten minutes later, his arms wrapped securely around her, he whispered in her ear:

"There is something that I want you to know."

She turned around, facing him, propping herself up somewhat on one elbow.

"When I saw you, I wanted you. Now that I have you, I won't let go of you," he whispered.

Her eyes sparkled at hearing him say that.

"Good. Because there is no way I'm letting go of you either," she told him.

And together they drifted off to sleep.


End file.
